Reflections

Reflections by Brandi Lynn David Have you ever looked in a different mirror for the first time and thought, "Oh my God, it's lying!" Then, in a panic, wonder if it's your old familiar mirror that's way off and this is what you really look like. Are my wrinkles really that deep? Is my hair thinning that bad? Why didn't anyone ever tell me that my makeup makes me look like a 50 year old hooker? Suddenly, you start to wonder, "What do people really see when they look at me?" It's so easy to obsess over those "problem areas," whether it's weight, the size of your nose, freckles, a crooked tooth, or a pimple. Not long ago I went to dinner with my sister and her husband. One of our favorite conversations always revolves around what we hate about ourselves. This particular time, it was my forearms. I know, who in the world has ever complained about their forearms? We had already covered everything else, and I legitimately was getting uncomfortable with the unnoticeable change in the shape of my forearms formed from a new workout routine. When every photo shot is hit or miss for a “good picture,” every scale reads a different weight, and retailers like Old Navy tag their clothes sizes two numbers smaller than the average size, how do we really know what we look like? Do others see what we see? I don’t mean to come across as self-loathing, because I’m not, but we’re all a little guilty of being our own worst critics. The FX series Nip/Tuck opened with the line, “Tell me what you don’t like about yourself.” Plastic surgeons, cosmetic companies, and the trendy new medical spas love that we don’t like things about ourselves. I’m all for self-improvement. I endorse exercise and healthy living. I even partake in the occasional med spa visit. I sincerely find nothing wrong with whole body rejuvenation. If you have the money to splurge, then more power to you. So after you’ve frozen your forehead or increased your cup size, what’s next? What is that mirror, mirror on the wall showing you now? It reminds me of the old arcade game Whack-A-Mole. As soon as you knock out one problem area, another appears. In one scene of the movie, “Eat, Pray, Love,” Elizabeth’s friend is ashamed of her figure and turns down a sweet treat in order to stifle a growing “muffin top.” Elizabeth has her reflect to any time she disrobed in front of a man. Then, she asks if any of them left because of her “muffin top.” Of course they didn’t. No man is looking at a naked woman’s lower abdomen when there’s so much more they’ve aspired to see. Who we believe we are is often determined by images that portray perfection. The bar is set by magazine publishers and make-up artists. Let’s not forget these people are just what they say, “artists.” Photoshop and other such programs are miracle workers when it comes to the texture of skin, waist lines, hair volume, eye color, and even breast size. They can change any image for the good or bad. Sometimes we also see ourselves through the eyes of others who don’t have a clue. Kids can be cruel and scars can remain from childhood. Being called a “freckle face” as a kid could cause you as an adult to obsess over getting rid of those brown spots, even when others call them cute. Many of us have at least one person we worry about seeing, because we know they are going to find that one imperfection you haven’t corrected or have no control of and mention it. Maybe, it’s an aunt with no verbal filter, an abusive spouse, a jealous friend or sister, a taunting brother, your mom (because if she won’t tell you, who will). Those kinds of people are everywhere- the workplace, school, our family. Some of them we can’t completely avoid. So how do we change what others see? First, change what you see. You are a child of God, created in His image. You have been perfectly and wonderfully made. God makes no mistakes (though I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be blonde by nature). How can anyone look at His marvelous creation and think He somehow messed up on you? Look how perfectly he painted the tiger and stretched the giraffe. He knew what he was doing when he shaped and colored every creature. Yet, you are special, after his image, with his very breath breathed into you. Know who you are. Most of the rest of the world doesn’t see what we consider imperfections. In fact, more than likely, while you’re worried about how big your forearms appear, other people are looking at your pretty eyes. Photoshop the images of yourself in your head. Chances are the person you’re looking back at is afraid you’re noticing something about them that you don’t see. And, if they do see you as flawed and pick you a part, know that it’s their own reflection they don’t like. Of course, I still encourage you to take care of your skin, wear your make-up to brighten your beauty, eat healthy, and always work off the goodies. I’m guilty of watching The Bachelorette this season. My favorite “character” or bachelor was a pro sports trainer out of Atlanta named Ryan. While Emily continually tried to trap him into saying the wrong thing, since he seemed to always have the right words, she antagonized him as an athlete saying she doesn’t work out and may gain a lot weight one day. I love his response. “God created you to be a beautiful woman. So be a beautiful woman.” I agree. Be beautiful. Feel beautiful. Know it from the inside, so it radiates on the outside. Let your reflection reveal how beautifully you were created no matter in what mirror your looking.